JANUARY 2000: Millennium in New York – walking through a lot of snow and thinking back and forth.

JANUARY 2000: My father has three heart attacks in a row.

JUNE 2000: Grandma passes away. I know I will see her again, so I am not feeling as upset as the others. In her hospital room the patient next to her tells us that she pulled her own breathing apparatus off.

JUNE 2000: With a heavy heart I decide against pursuing a career as a rock star.

JULY 2000: We're standing in the middle of a tiny room – all I can say is one sentence and then I see Stefan crumbling in front of me.

JULY 2000: I make my first favourite man mine.

JULY 2000: During the Summer Academy 'Moscow Time' in Braunschweig and Hanover I am reinvigorated and think I ought to try the theatre again.

AUGUST 2000: I complete school and fall in love with D. – though I am going out with T. and D. is going out with J. We spend almost a year in this complex tangle of love affairs.

OCTOBER 2000: My maths course starts and with it a very exciting, very tough and to a certain extent also lonely time. What's more, my most important friendship develops with another student on the course.

OCTOBER 2000: A dramatic end. I have to let half my team go in the afternoon and then at 5 PM I find out that it is over for good.

OCTOBER 2000: Boy circles boy, bluster aplenty but no real threat. We do not want to hit each other because we’re afraid that if we can’t punch hard enough we will be mocked for being weak. We are ringed by jeering spectators. He throws a soft punch to the jaw. No real pain, but the force causes the inside of my lip to tear against metallic wiring. Blood makes the crowd go quiet. The red stuff is too real for any of us. Weak, spoiled kids pretending to be tough. An adult breaks things up before I can retaliate. I am glad: I did not cry. I held my own.