MARCH 2008: I've finally made it. I stand there without a care in the world and look up. A view that I only know from pictures: now I'm standing in the middle of the Golden Horn. All alone in front of the giant architecture and the reality of the view. I am overwhelmed.
APRIL 2008: My parents pay me a spontaneous visit. It is a sunny Sunday. We stand in the corridor and my father tries to tell me that he has cancer.
APRIL 2008: I resign and set up my own business.
JUNE 2008: Meeting my big love.
JULY 2008: We meet close to school and sit around, wait, kill time; soon the school is going to release our final grades. It’s a hot day, I am wearing shorts and a pink t-shirt. I feel good, pretty, free: one of the teachers had told me not to worry – I passed, my biggest nightmare is out of the way.
JULY 2008: Death of my beloved grandmother after which I change my life.
JULY 2008: I arrive at the hospital after a journey of several hours to learn that my half-brother has died in the night. My sister, who knew that I absolutely wanted to see him again, did not call me in time. I feel another door closing inside me.
JULY 2008: Bea’s headache is so bad she wants to bang her head on the fridge. The pain is so bad she wants to throw herself in front of a car.
AUGUST 2008: Fernán, a dog named Marshall and I go out on a Sunday. We have the best Indian meal ever, and we end up in a Karaoke bar near Trafalgar Square where a special meeting takes place with an American banker who is also an actor in his free time. A completely new body and mind experience.
AUGUST 2008: I wait with my mother, my three sisters and ten suitcases at Toronto airport for father to come with the car. This is my first visit to the American continent – and we're going to stay for a whole year. I am pleased.
AUGUST 2008: It worked. In one fell swoop I have 20,000 Euros. I decide to change my life. I resign and go self-employed. I train further as a dancer and meet Beatrice.
OCTOBER 2008: My partner telling me that he is HIV positive.
OCTOBER 2008: Downtown Huntsville, it's late and I walk around in the city park with Walha and Sandra. I meet Austin for the first time. He's gay, and he thinks so am I.
DECEMBER 2008: Standing in the middle of the streets in Nha Trang, Vietnam, I get an overseas phone-call from my mum. She tells me that my father had died unexpectedly after they checked into the hotel in Genting, Malaysia. She is crying hysterically. I am shocked and unresponsive. Is this real? I was chatting with him on the phone just yesterday.