SEPTEMBER 1967: My foster brother holds me in his arms and doesn't want to let go of me again.

JULY 1977: I move back in with my parents and feel lonely and lost.

APRIL 1979: My aunt loves me. I feel accepted and safe.

JULY 1981: The father of a girlfriend looks deep into my soul with his intense blue eyes and tells me I will find my own way and I believe him.

NOVEMBER 1984: My girlfriend refuses to put up with my aggressive depressive mood and sends me away with the words: "Come back when you've calmed down." I understand she really does want me to come back.

FEBRUARY 1989: I am head-hunted by another company for the first time and feel wonderful.

SEPTEMBER 1989: My suicide attempt fails and I discover my creativity.

JUNE 2001: In in-patient therapy my therapist tells me: "You're boring me." I am shocked and understand that my emotions are missing. I have to find them again.

NOVEMBER 2003: I accompany my girlfriend through a long illness leading to her death. I am glad and proud of being able to and being allowed to be at her side – and I feel great grief at her loss.

MAY 2010: I receive the offer of a wonderful job and move to Switzerland. I am happy.