MAY 1971: I ride three kilometres by bike from my parents' to my grandparents' beside a busy main road. I fall in the ditch several times. I arrive unharmed.

JULY 1976: I am invited to a birthday party. It is loud, everyone is playing rough and tumble. I sit alone at a table and say nothing. It is clear to me: I am different.

MAY 1987: I have to go to Finland for eight months' military service. After the first six weeks I can't stand the people any more. After ten weeks I am saved and work in the engine room of a small ship with an eight man crew.

APRIL 1991: I spend two months driving a Plymouth Horizon across the USA and back again. I only speak when I have to and feel happy in the most isolated places.

MAY 1994: I accept my first job, move away from home – and fall into a depression. In one year I watch the video of 'The Lion King' around seven hundred times.

APRIL 1996: For the first time I meet someone outside my family who really means something to me. I feel joy and fear.

JANUARY 1997: One Sunday morning Ursula asks me if I want to marry her. I feel a joy I never thought possible.

DECEMBER 1998: I get an email at work: "Dearest Darling, the pregnancy test was positive. Love, Ursula."

FEBRUARY 2013: I discover something which makes my world completely fall apart. I feel a grief I could not have thought possible.

SEPTEMBER 2013: I come fourth in a thoroughly insignificant triathlon competition. I am filled with pride at having achieved something.