JUNE 1986: I go back home to Basel across the Lorraine Bridge, having just graduated from high school and think confidently: I can do anything, the whole world is waiting for me.
MARCH 1988: In my youthful arrogance I apply for an editorial post at a well-known newspaper.
APRIL 1990: I meet Bea in lecture room 101 of Berne University.
JULY 1991: Lena blinks in the shimmering light of the hospital delivery suite.
AUGUST 1993: Nik, who has hardly been born, takes his last breath in my arms.
NOVEMBER 1993: In Jorgos Canacakis’s grief seminar, I realise: My grief is real and so am I.
OCTOBER 1994: We can take Anna home from the women’s hospital. She is healthy despite the doctors having been afraid that she, like her brother, suffered from an infection.
JULY 2008: Bea’s headache is so bad she wants to bang her head on the fridge. The pain is so bad she wants to throw herself in front of a car.
MARCH 2009: I tell Bea about Andrea.
DECEMBER 2009: Bea tells me about Tom.