Matthew 1987

Sales Assistant
Telephone Fund Raiser
Stock Room Assistant
Lecturing Assistant
Hospitality Assistant
Box Office Assistant
Membership Administrator
Assistant Lecturer
Assistant Curator of Film

MAY 1998: I discover one of my many talents, cross country.

FEBRUARY 1999: My parents separate. My Dad moves out and I feel extremely happy to have him leave.

MAY 2002: I have sex for the first time with Charlie. It is terrible. I have no idea what to do and become really scared that she is pregnant. I'm also scared that her brother and my friend Daniel will find out.

JUNE 2002: We're in Turkey with my sisters, my mum and her friend Allison. I have a massive crush on Morgan, the eldest of her four children. All nine of us eat together and spend most of the evenings together. One evening, Morgan and I find an excuse to leave everyone and find a quiet spot where we talk and then begin to kiss. We spend most of the night talking and kissing under the stars before her mum angrily finds us, having had no idea where she had been.

MAY 2006: My cousin dies leaving behind three kids. Her name was Leanne. She was in her mid twenties. I decide not to go to her funeral. I arrive at the wake and everyone is drunk and having a great time. I don't cry. I don't really feel upset.

AUGUST 2009: I get married. The day of the wedding I am extremely nervous. People are arriving, caterers, hair dressers, guests. I am stressed out incredibly by all the commotion. When standing at the aisle waiting for Czarina I am still scared. I wonder whether I am doing the right thing. Then she comes out. As she smiles at me, all my fears slip away in an instance.

JULY 2014: Having decided to break up and at a time when we are still living together, Czarina and I have tickets to Primavera. We decide to go, but at the airport she tells me she is in a new relationship, and that he is coming to Barcelona to visit her. I get upset as it dawns on me what it will be like to not have Czarina in my life.

AUGUST 2014: I go on my first date post-Czarina. We spend the day picnicking in the park and talking. We rent a boat and row around Southwark Park. Then we buy a load of beers, go back into the park and sit around talking some more. Later that evening we meet a friend of mine and go and watch "Boyhood". I take her back into Camberwell and as we say goodnight we hug. She holds me for a few seconds longer than normal and she squeezes my hand.

AUGUST 2014: I spend the night with Aoife for the first time. We don't have sex, we just talk. It feels strange sleeping with someone else who isn't Czarina.

FEBRUARY 2015: Czarina tells me she is pregnant. I feel happy for her, but then sad that we are no longer friends and I realise that we probably never will be.